Deliverance from Addiction
I was 11 years old the first time I smoked weed, in the projects in Staten Island with my cousin. Turned off by the experience I wouldn’t smoke weed again (very briefly) until college and more recently as I played in Satan’s playground.
Everyday for the last 14 months I battled my weed addiction. I went to my Bible seeking answers and when I found no direct scripture reference, I justified my sin with the help of the opinions of other sinners on Google.
But it’s just weed, what’s the big deal?
As states move to legalize marijuana – our perception of holy and unholy becomes tainted by worldly opinions. God did not call you from darkness so you could live in earthly shadows. The world does not establish our moral compass – God and his written law sets the standard.
God’s holy word is embedded with deep mystery and revelation. It is through the aid of the Holy Spirit that we are given prophetic eyes so we may eat the meat and it may provide nourishment for our starving faith.
As my spirit began to walk more deeply in Christ – I became more and more convicted about smoking. I could feel the guilt of my disobedience but for the slaying of my spirit I needed God’s word revealed to me. And I begun to meditate on this lust blunt after blunt …
That’s when God’s voice slapped me in the back of my head…
Why am I meditating on lust when I have been called and delivered to meditate on God’s word day and night?!
My salvation was simple. Marijuana is a stumbling block.
Pardon me, marijuana is MY stumbling block. There is a way that seems right to man but leads to death and weed was leading me to spiritual death.
To be honest I’ve never been an avid smoker. When I walked obediently in Christ I was courageous enough to cast out demons in his name but I was terrified of being rejected by my family and friends. I lived as a secret Christian – afraid of the additional persecution I would experience from my beloved but in doing so I loved my family/friends more than God and we all know, there is no supreme loyalty that can surpass nor compete with God’s sovereignty.
So when I was in NY, I didn’t smoke weed but whenever I returned to NC to visit my family I find myself hitting the blunt – to fit in – to resist the incessant bullying that manifested in response to being a “good grade, goody goody two shoes,” Double minded, I was living a double life, serving two masters and employing evil to acquire peace.
As Christians we are responsible for courageously walking in God’s faith so others will see the strength and find their strength in us. Alternatively, we are commanded to beware of the company that we keep lest they – who are led by Satan – lead us also to hell.
In my case my parents smoked weed and I smoked with them. Last Christmas, I got drunk with my family and smoked a blunt with my father and step mother. In the same manner my own parents unintentionally became my stumbling block – there are parents consciously raising their children to worship Satan, yes there are parents teaching their children magic spells and witchcraft and right now there are small girls – their innocent bodies being offered as blood and sex sacrifices to demons and evil men.
Marijuana is a weed. Do you know why weeds are problematic? Do you know what weeds do in a garden? Weeds – which serve no aesthetic or nutritional purpose – spread their destructive roots deep within good soil. Weeds entangle and starve the roots of neighboring flowers, fruits and vegetables. They are destructive and selfish, monopolizing the soil/soul for its own self-centered desire.
Similarly, weed works in the same way to monopolize your spirit, your financial resources, your body and mind. What begins as a voluntary session of family fun eventually spirals to a lonely, embarrassing dark addiction that only God, the living herbicide can rebuke and uproot.
February 2017 my family threw me a birthday party, complete with food, liquor and blunts, lots and lots of blunts. After not smoking for years, I hit the blunt and immediately began puking my brains out. God did not want this poison in my body but I resisted the Holy Spirit – yearning the acceptance of my family – I traded the world for my soul.
You are what you eat. When one reads the word daily they become manifestations of his word but if we surrender to our addictions then we become the addiction. Ultimately, I had became no better than my parents and I shudder to wonder of to how many people I also became a stumbling block.
As a seasoned Christian I once went to great lengths to defend my addiction. I would pray while high, praise God while high and while the Lord and his infinite mercy has seldom ignored my calls for his presence – he would visit me only briefly to minister unto me – and he would leave as quickly as he came. Refusing to bless my mess.
Saints, I remember feeling justified that I had paid my tithes and offerings before a re-up but as I returned to my word I felt convicted that the money I spent on drugs could and should’ve been used for the church’s building fund. God really was not playing when he said I can’t serve two masters.
Why is weed so tempting? As an analgesic, short-term marijuana use can evoke feelings of euphoric well-being and the problem is as Christians we are relying on earthly possessions and demonic toys to satisfy our grieving hearts versus seeking God to bring us everlasting peace that doesn’t dissipate like the effects of marijuana.
Weed has no comparison to God’s loving counsel. The first few months of smoking weed feels glorious. However, as your tolerance increases you need more and more weed to retrieve any feelings of euphoria.
I remember how one blunt every 3 days climbed to 2/3 blunts per day. Worst of all, I wasn’t getting high anymore – in fact I was depressed, irritable, lonely, broken and embarrassed.
As a fallen saint, I couldn’t keep the same Christian friends for I knew that their Holy Spirit would convict me to correction and my flesh had become so powerful I had zero interest in correction. So I avoided like the plague – church and women’s bible study.
I pride myself on keeping holy ears – only legally paid Gospel music on my iTunes. And while my iTunes remained pure I created an escape clause via gorging myself on unholy rap music via YouTube. I really, really wasn’t the same person.
Wait it gets better, the Holy Spirit who I had smothered was yet whispering to my soul in faint and suffocated whispers. I wanted God’s peace but I wanted to continue smoking weed. Feeling too condemned to seek counsel from my pastor, I sought the counsel of my cousin/drug dealer who instructed me to occasionally fast from weed for one week to reinstate the original euphoric high and to bring discipline to the flesh so one blunt day is sufficient versus 3 blunts per day.
Even in the midst of the enemy God was reminding me of the powerful power of fasting. That we fast to permanently break chains and admittedly after the first 3 days of marijuana fasting, abstinence comes without temptation.
Experienced and equipped with the holy power of fasting – why was I returning to despair after being delivered?
As Christians why do we return to the prisons God has freed us from? For me, I was outrightly rebellious. I had grown fleshly tired of praying for evil people. God had given me prophetic dreams and assigned me souls he wanted delivered and I had grown weary of the task. In my selfish view, these people got to have their fun and now I was on life parole – doing the labor for their salvation. What I didn’t realize is that there is no fun in sin, there is no life in sin. Those same people – sometimes affluent had gained the whole world and lost their soul. I would prophetically assert that they had become so lost that God had permanently closed his mercy and that any appeals made for their lives must be initiated by rightfully living Christians. With prayers and pleading we aim to soften the heart of God, so even the most wicked and despised can be delivered. Hallelujah! To God be ALL the GLORY!
When I worked in Criminal Court I conducted jail interviews and I would speak with young adults/my age who reported smoking 20 blunts daily! More than likely if they were smoking 20 blunts a day – they had incorporated harder drugs like crack/pills/heroin. Sin leads to death whereas God leads to everlasting life.
Sin is a pathway way to death. We must acknowledge and remove our stumbling blocks lest they amass like an avalanche of rocks of which we stone ourselves to death.
The Bible says let he without sin cast the first stone.
My experience with weed taught me that he that delights in sin cast himself with his own stones.
Weed is a stumbling block. I promise you, you cannot smoke a blunt every day and read your word everyday – the two can not exist.
You can’t smoke blunts every week and attend church every week – the two cannot exist.
And for my warrior and prophets in Christ – you definitely cannot smoke weed and retain the power to cast out demons – for the weed is a demon that first must be cast out of you.
If any of you are still smoking.
When offered, don’t.
God is sufficient to heal our broken hearts – earthly substances cannot bring you heavenly peace. For we can do all things through Christ our Father who strengthens us and his grace is sufficient for our yet suffering.
Now to each of you who have heard the word and felt convicted by your perspective stumbling blocks, go in peace and sin no more. Living neither in condemnation, regret nor contemplation.
Be blessed by your downfalls. For when we are low we are eye level with the fallen. Remembering the depression and isolation that lives outside the will of God – let us use that as motivation to go even harder for God.
Finally, every man should have a personal covenant with God – a special set of commandments that dictates your personal journey in Christ and in ministry.
Each time I smoked and purchased weed I kept waiting for God to punish me. Deep down inside I wanted to get a ticket for personal possession, I wanted transit cops to conduct a random search, I wanted to be delivered but I didn’t want to do the work. I wanted God to make the choice for me but God was at work with his faithful servant.
Weed was my stumbling block and he wanted me to grasp a full fruitful awareness of how and why so that upon delivery from addiction I would NEVER return to addiction.
To God be the praise, honor and power. He has spared me without blemish. And in the same manner he was patient, prayed and ministered unto me – I now understand the importance of patiently, praying and ministering unto others.
May we not get so full of God’s holiness than we consider ourselves holier than thou or too holy to be amongst sinners. For the sole/soul purpose of ministering unto sinners is to spare them from final Judgement so let us refrain from judging lest we too be judged.
For we all have sinned, will sin, have been forgiven and will again and again, need forgiveness. None of us are above reproach and to God be the Glory none of us are ever too defiled to be made clean again with the powerful blood of Jesus Christ
May the church say amen!
Go and be in peace.